The late great former Surgeon General Dr. Jocelyn Elders once stated, “I think masturbation is something that is a part of human sexuality and it’s a part of something that perhaps should be taught.”
If you’re in the mood for a little education mixed in with a lot of fun, check out SEXx 3.0, a two-part event in honor of National Masturbation Month. We spoke to one of the people involved, award-winning artist, filmmaker, photographer and poet (among other things) Susan DiPronio.
PGN: Where did you grow up?
SD: Outside Buffalo, N.Y.
PGN: Tell me about yourself and your work, Poe-sers.
SD: When I was little, I was sick a lot and my mom was sick a lot, so she was often away at the hospital. But one time when she was home, she took me to the store. She said I could buy whatever I wanted, and that was a big deal. I had three other siblings and something like 30 cousins who all lived around us, but this was just me and my mom. Sometimes it was easy to get lost in the crowd, so having one-on-one time with her was special. I chose a big red book of poetry, “The Family Treasury of Poems.” It had a lot of basic poetry with some TS Elliot thrown in and a lot of Edgar Allen Poe. I obviously connected with Poe because just about everything I’ve written — every play, every poem or piece of art I’ve done since then — has had some of Poe’s influence. My mom and I would read the book to each other. We got really attached to one of his poems, “The Bells,” where he wrote about the ringing and swinging and rhyming and chiming of the bells, bells, bells, bells and he repeats the word a lot. We really loved reciting it. My mom is deceased so for me the book is a real attachment to her. I still have it. Poetry has changed my life and how I see the world. “A Poe-ser” was a play on words and the title of a play I wrote. I rediscovered that book after 20 years and found the pages still marked. When I opened it, I was reconnected with my past and I realized that a lot of Poe’s words could serve as introductions to different experiences in my life.
PGN: Tell me something fun about the family.
SD: We made our own wine. We had a huge garden with our own grape vines and we made wine from them, mostly red.
PGN: Did you have to stomp it with your bare feet?
SD: No, but it was God-awful even without that. When we were little and they wanted to build up your blood, they’d give you wine with water in it at dinner. Or if you were sick they’d warm it up and add a little honey to it. Of course that would knock you out. Wine was the cure for everything.
PGN: It seems from your work that it was a difficult childhood.
SD: No, I wouldn’t say difficult. A lot of things happened to me. I was the kid in class who wore glasses so I was tortured a bit for that. Then I had eye surgery and then my appendix burst, so the physical problems were ongoing but other than that it was fine. I spent summers hanging out in our fruit trees reading my books or playing with my siblings or cousins. My mother would say, “If you’re bored, go read a book.” It was the best thing you could say to a kid.
PGN: I’m trying to start a program to get books into kids’ hands. The library is fantastic, but it’s nice to have a book you can keep.
SD: It really is a treasure when you’re a child. To have a book to call your own … up until the red book that never happened and you can see how much it meant to me; I still have it!
PGN: What did the folks do?
SD: My father worked in the steel mill but he was also a plumber. My mother had a beauty salon, which was attached to our house. I would help her sweep up and stuff.
PGN: Did she influence your sense of style?
SD: [Laughs] My mother was very ill and in the end couldn’t even leave the house. When she was in her last days, I was going to visit her and she wasn’t in her bed or in the house. I was frantic looking for her, going house to house asking the neighbors, from sister to sister and all my cousins if they’d seen her. I was running down the middle of the street and there was my mother walking calmly, arm in arm with her sister. I was calling, “Where have you been? You’re not supposed to be out of bed, never mind in the streets!” She’d had her hair and nails done and she said, “Susan, a girl’s always gotta take care of herself.” And that lesson stuck with me: Always take care of yourself, and that’s extended to physically and mentally. It was monumental advice for me.
PGN: One of your pieces was about the fact that you always felt guilty, that it was your fault that your mom was sick.
SD: Yeah, I did. When I was born was when she first got ill, and I was very ill, which took a toll. They thought I was going to die so I was baptized at home and they gave me last rights. You may have noticed, I didn’t die. My grandmother decided the doctors didn’t know what they were doing. She didn’t speak a word of English but she took over my care and here I am.
PGN: Glad of it. You’ve been through a lot of health challenges. What was “Whispers, Songs, Ghosts of the Past”?
SD: That was another show about my battle with breast cancer and what my lover at the time and I went through. I do a lot of work with people going through difficult challenges. “Shout” was from a five-week memoir workshop I did at Philadelphia FIGHT for adults with HIV/AIDS; David Acosta helped set that up. They wrote their stories and we performed them at the Asian Arts Black Box Theater. I also worked with kids as young as 9 who had HIV/AIDS over at Children’s Hospital and I did a piece called “Screams” with women with breast cancer. Many of the women were at the end stages. Some were survivors of sexual violence. It was an interactive audio piece; people were able to listen to their recorded personal stories and had the opportunity to tape their own stories and be part of the ongoing installation. It was part of the Fringe Festival and was invited to the Mainline Arts Center and Wooden Shoe.
PGN: Between the workshops and performances and other works, was there a person whose story really touched you?
SD: There were so many, but we had one woman who was too sick to come to the workshops, so I would go to her house. She was very young and fighting breast cancer for the third time. She kept telling me she wasn’t a writer and I said, “Everyone is a writer and has a story,” so she finally wrote one. I have it on tape and after that she wrote a book and published it! That was huge. Now she paints and sells her art. It’s been 10 years and she’s still here.
PGN: Wow, you transformed someone’s world. Jumping back to you, did you run away from home at 15?
SD: I did! How did you find that out? I did, not because I didn’t like home, I just felt there was a whole world out there and I was missing something. Ha. I still feel that way most of the time.
PGN: How far did you get?
SD: Not very far. I was picked up by the police when they arrested the guy I was running away with. He was older and, it turned out, a felon. So they arrested both of us and that’s how I got home. Be careful of the company you keep.
PGN: Indeed. I read you got a BS in food marketing in college. How did you get started as an artist?
SD: Well, I went to school off and on over the years and lived in a lot of places. I hitchhiked around the country and was homeless for a very long time. But I always wrote. I would write poems on scraps of paper or napkins and sell them for a quarter in San Francisco. Surprisingly, a lot of people bought them.
PGN: What led to you being homeless?
SD: I don’t know. I was living in D.C. in a commune and worked there for a while and then I went to Woodstock and never went back.
PGN: Cool. Share a memory from Woodstock.
SD: [Laughs] Uh, I don’t remember a lot! It’s a little blurry for obvious reasons. We got there long before it started and stayed long after it was over. We didn’t know how to leave. I still have the tickets because we were inside already before they started collecting tickets. We were right up at the front. I got to see Janis Joplin and Jimmy Hendrix up close. I seem to remember us lighting candles in the rain. I was also at the Altamont Free Festival, the one with Santana and Jefferson Airplane and the Rolling Stones that got out of control. A guy was killed and several people were hurt; that was a freakin’ nightmare. There was a documentary, “Gimme Shelter,” made about it. At one point, I was being crushed so much I passed out and some guy grabbed me and held me up by my head. I woke up in a field. That part was not fun. They were crazy times!
PGN: What was a fun time?
SD: Just being free and on the road. There were good and bad times. I remember being in the Tenderloin District, which is trendy now, but was dicey and dangerous back then. This guy who I used to hang out with, we’d panhandle and sing to get money for food and a place to stay. He and I were at a center and we were looking out the window and waving to a friend of ours. I only remember it vaguely but there was some kind of robbery going on and someone yelled “get down” as bullets came flying through the window. The friend was killed. It was a very transitory time, people came and went. But the memory of that friend stays forever.
PGN: And, I imagine, had an influence on your work.
SD: Definitely. But it also helps you realize that most things are not a big deal. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not a big deal if you don’t get the parking spot in front of your house. I hear people whine about minuscule things and I’m like, Really? Learn to appreciate what you do have instead of what you don’t because all we really have is this moment, right now. When I wake up and put my feet on the ground it’s like, Oh yeah! I have another day. It’s a good feeling.
PGN: When did you come out?
SD: I came out in Buffalo, in high school. I was in love with someone much older than me and they decided to get married and I was devastated. I was crying so much the nurse locked me in a room and called my family. They sent me to a psychiatrist to be cured. I don’t remember a lot from those times but I vividly remember the guy’s face. He was like 150 freakin’ years old trying to tell me what was wrong with me. After the second appointment, my mother said, “Just say yes to whatever he says. Say you were wrong if that’s what he needs to hear and get out of there.” So that’s what I did; otherwise in those days they could have had me committed or [given me] any number of nasty “cures.”
PGN: Tell me about your upcoming program.
SD: I’m working with Elicia Gonzales and Timaree Schmit on SEXx 3.0. It’s the third year and it consists of two events in one night in celebration of National Masturbation Month. The first event will be a TEDx-style program from 7-9 at William Way. The second half of the evening will be a series of live performances about sexuality starting at 10 p.m. at Franky Bradley’s nightclub. All the proceeds go to William Way.
PGN: That sounds great. Now a few quickie questions. Your house is on fire; what do you take with you, not counting practical things like computers, etc.?
SD: Hmmm, nothing’s that important to me. Maybe a banana, something to eat while I watch my house burn down.
PGN: They’re doing the Susan DiPronio story. What actress should play you?
SD: Someone who is a little radical, a little crazy. Maybe Jodie Foster to play the young me, Susan Sarandon for the older years.
PGN: What was a wacky performance moment?
SD: One time I was getting my body painted for a benefit promo shoot and I was told that it would wash off, but somehow they accidentally painted me in acrylic. I was running late for a dinner and when I got in the shower it would not come off! So I had to walk down the street and go to dinner in full body paint. Fortunately for them, I thought it was pretty cool because it took a couple of weeks to come off.
PGN: There’s a lot of nudity in your work. What does that bring for you?
SD: Well with my surgeries and scars, I didn’t want to think about what a mess my body was, but it became something I had to address and learn to become positive about. I’ve always loved women and women’s bodies and erotica. I hope that my work helps people look at and appreciate the beauty of their bodies.
PGN: Before we go, I’d love to hear a line from one of your poems.
SD: Sure. “I miss you curled against me/
Close as skin/
Skin which touches warms/
Reaches within”
PGN: Lovely! What’s next on the horizon?
SD: I’m working with David Acosta and we have a new website for queer erotica called, “Wicked Gay Ways.” It’s essentially an online journal and it’ll be part of this year’s Fringe Festival. And I’m working with Linda Dubin Garfield on a writing project. We’re raising money for the New Day Women’s Drop-In Center in Kensington for victims of human trafficking. The working title is “Clothing” and it will also be part of the Fringe Festival in the fall. And I’m hoping to put together a one-woman show of my artwork, so if anyone has any ideas or a space they want to contribute …
PGN: I’m sure we can find someone out there. Let’s go, people!
For more information on SEXx 3.0, visit http://bit.ly/1SWFFqz.
To suggest a community member for Family Portrait, email [email protected].