Norma Beard: Do-si-do-ing, from the farm to the dance floor

Roll Away with a Half-Sashay, Split the Outside Two, California Twirl, Dive Thru, Shoot the Star, Slip the Clutch, Weave the Ring and Ladies Chain. No, these aren’t new songs by RuPaul or some unique S&M positions — these are square-dance moves that you might hear when kicking up your heels with the Independence Squares, Philadelphia’s modern Western square-dance club. Founded in 1988, the group has been holding dances and classes for people of all types and skill sets for more than two decades.

We took a moment to speak with board president Norma Beard, who, at almost 70, is still do-si-do-ing with this high-energy style of dance.

NB: I read the profile you did last week on a guy — I think his name was Charles — and I was really surprised to find we had a lot in common. He went to Earlham in Indiana and I delivered mail there for quite some time. He went to Temple and I’m a Temple grad, though I was there quite a while before him I’m sure! Charles and his sister were born 14 months apart, and my sister and I are close in age too. Interesting.

PGN: It’s a small world after all. Was mail carrier your main occupation?

NB: I did two main jobs: I delivered mail for 27 years and prior to that I was a social worker. I took a break between school because my father passed away and I went home to run the farm and keep my mother company; she’d never been alone in her life and didn’t want to start then. My sister was married so it was decided that they’d go to college and I’d put my schoolwork aside to run the farm until they got back.

PGN: What kind of farm was it and where?

NB: We had a dairy farm in Kimberton, Pa., which is in Chester County. My sister and I were into 4H, showing cows and stuff. We won a lot of prizes and got our pictures in the paper often. Unfortunately, because of that, we got bullied a lot at school. Our classmates were a mix of city kids and farm kids and they’d tease us.

PGN: Was it a private school?

NB: No, public. I could have kicked myself: My-great grandparents were actually the janitors at a very nice private school and I was allowed to attend for free. I could have had all my schooling there but in kindergarten all they did was cut out dolls all day and I didn’t want a damn thing to do with dolls! One day, my father was taking me to school and I begged him not to make me go and after that I never had to go back there. I stupidly missed out on getting a wonderful education. But at 5, what the heck do you know?

PGN: Yeah, I hate it when those toddler decisions come back to haunt you.

NB: [Laughs] I know, and I had ADHD too — I’m almost 70, so they didn’t call it that back then — but I would have been better off at a private school where you got individualized attention. As it was, I taught myself to read in fourth grade. I finally found a book I wanted to read and said, “You know what? I can do this,” and so I did.

PGN: You sounded like an independent little spirit! What was the best and worst part of growing up on a farm?

NB: The worst? It’s 24/7. We’d have to milk the cows at 5 a.m., then take a shower so you wouldn’t smell like a barn at school. Even though my mother has passed, I’ll still occasionally jump because I still hear her calling me to “get!” The best part was that it was a great community to grow up in. If I’d had kids, it would be the only way I’d want to raise them. With what the kids these days have to deal with … the drugs and the violence … God, I’m glad I didn’t have to deal with any of that.

PGN: Fun farm fables?

NB: Well, we also had horses. My father always kept his roller skates, his ice skates and a saddle in the car at all times. When my sister and I were very small, we had a pony named Coaltown. There’s actually a picture of us with him somewhere, he was very languid and [laughs] one of us would get on him and one of us would push him! He was very gentle. One year, my sister and I put our money together and for $50 bought a horse named Ranger at New Holland. Whenever one of us came down with a disease, my mother would stick us together so we’d both get it. I came down with the mumps on one side and then my sister got them on two sides and was pretty ill, so my mother came to me and said, “That pony needs to be exercised.” I actually wasn’t much of a horse person — that was more my sister — so I was like, “Oh shit” but the neighbor ladies invited me to ride with them. They would ride across Pickering Creek (I later named a cat Pickering). Each time I went to cross the creek, Ranger would throw me into the water. The ladies would laugh at me because the minute I hit the water, I’d hold my head up. The reason was because the riding helmet was expensive and covered in velvet so I didn’t want to get it wet! I finally learned to take the bridge instead of crossing the river.

PGN: So back to work, what were the two main jobs?

NB: I was doing social work for years and the last job was working with children with brain injuries. I saw an ad for a part-time mail carrier to work on Saturdays. I thought, Why not? Social work didn’t pay much, and it would be a nice supplement. Well, after two weeks they fired someone and transferred another person and offered me a full-time job. Just working Saturdays I made more than I did as a social worker so I said yes. An interesting side note is that one day my mother said to me, “Honey, I’m so proud of you.” I thought, I worked 17 years as a social worker and now she’s proud? Turns out my grandfather had carried mail for 37 years in Phoenixville and I never knew it! We were kids when he retired and never knew what he did.

PGN: So are dogs really a mail carrier’s worst fear?

NB: [Laughs] No! I always carried bones and the dogs loved me. I think the biggest worry was ice. Slipping is not fun.

PGN: In your 17 years doing social work, what’s a situation that moved you?

NB: I worked at Pennhurst, which didn’t have the best reputation. At the time I only had an associate’s degree but they made me the director of the children’s unit. Someone approached us and asked me to pick out 10 kids we thought would be able to compete at a vocational school, even though it was hard enough for the kids to fit in. Back then you’d put your clothes into an institutional laundry and you’d never see them again, so we personally took home their laundry and helped them with schoolwork, and did what we could to help them keep up. I promised one of the boys I’d teach him to drive. He came into my office one day and said, “Norma, I want to teach you something, the secret of nines!” It was amazing how far he’d come and very heartwarming. Two of our kids won awards and got into college! It was very moving.

PGN: When did you first realize that you were LGB or T?

NB: Really young. Since elementary school, but when I first had a name for it? That would probably be when I went off to college at 17. That’s when I learned and embraced the term “lesbian.” Prior to that, I remember when I was 9 or 10 and we got a TV. I would sneak down from the barn and watch Annette Funicello on “Spin and Marty.” She was my heartthrob. Her and who was that woman with the brown hair? Loretta something … but not the Loretta from M*A*S*H … Loretta Young! I also had crushes all the way through school. In first grade I was in love with two girls named Holly and Dawn. They were the loves of my life all the way through 12th grade.

PGN: So what are some of the things you like to do other than square dancing?

NB: I like to read and do yard and estate sales. My best friend just passed a few years ago but she would always expect me at the house with coffee and a sandwich by 7:30 and off we’d go.

PGN: How did you meet your partner Ellen?

NB: Well, a friend of mine brought her to square dancing and I took one look at her and was smitten. But they were together so I didn’t do anything about it. I just waited and hoped and then, when they broke up, we got together. That friend no longer speaks to me. That was back in 2006 and we just got married last December.

PGN: On the farm?

NB: [Laughs] No! In the Camden County Courthouse! You know, as a kid my dream was always to get married on the farm, in a field in a pair of cut-off shorts. It’s not exactly what we did.

PGN: Too bad, I’m sure the cows would have made great bridesmaids.

NB: They would have, though they might lick you to death or eat the bouquets. You know, we used to sleep next to them when we were kids. But you know, I never thought I’d get married! It’s wonderful.

PGN: Speaking of wonderful things, how did you get into square dancing?

NB: As farm kids, we used to go to the grange Friday nights and sometimes Saturdays and they had square dancing, so as a kid I went all the time. Much later, my girlfriend at the time and I had friends in Baltimore who danced with a club, the Chesapeake Squares, and we went to see them. We were like, “Oh my God, that is so much fun! Why don’t we do that?” Back then, the main places to hang out and meet people were the bars. Unfortunately, I did way too much drinking in college, to the extent that I once woke up in a different state of the union and didn’t know how I got there. I started out in West Virginia and woke up in South Carolina and finally said, “What am I doing?” So back to dancing, that year my girlfriend and I were having a 10th-anniversary celebration and decided to have square dancing as part of the celebration. We called Independence Squares and hired a caller for the party. We had a great time and that September we joined the group. That was back in ’95. So it’ll be 20 years for me this September.

PGN: So what’s the square-dance term that makes you giggle?

NB: I don’t know, there’s one called an Acey-Deucey, that’s kind of funny-sounding. There’s a troop from Washington, D.C., and they dance at levels A and C, so they call it AC/DC.

PGN: So, as you’re a board member, what should I know if I wanted to join?

NB: Anybody can come, we are very inclusive. You don’t need a partner, which is really nice. You just put your hand up — which hand you put up indicates if you’re a lead or follow — and someone will take your hand. We have men and women, old and young, straight and gay, trans people and drag queens or people who are just into crinoline! It doesn’t matter, everyone’s welcome. We’re actually the only square-dance club in the county of Philadelphia, so we get everybody.

PGN: How would someone get involved?

NB: We have different classes that started the Tuesday after Pride. We always march in Pride and try to recruit new people and invite them to come and bring their friends and/or enemies, whoever will come. We had one straight married couple and their family was visiting from Ohio so they brought them. When I asked Mary Kay how her family liked it, she said the kids all wanted to move to Philadelphia so they could join!

PGN: That’s so sweet! You have some great stories!

NB: Yeah, and we had one mother and she brought her son who was gay. He wasn’t interested but the daughter was. Now she teases me, whenever I start talking, she says, “Wait, is this going to be another postal story?” [Laughs] So now I clarify if it’s going to be a postal story or not before I start.

PGN: Let’s do some random questions. What was the last TV show you watched?

NB: “Poldark,” it’s one of the PBS Masterpiece Theater shows.

PGN: My celebrity dance partner would be …

NB: k.d. lang. I don’t know if she can dance but she could sing in my ear.

PGN: The first president I remember was …

NB: John F. Kennedy.

PGN: My wife Ellen would probably like to get rid of my …

NB: [Laughs] My startle response … I’m a little jumpy. And probably my road rage, I like to scream at cars! Oh, and probably my penguin collection too! I love penguins.

PGN: What was the most difficult age for you to turn?

NB: Probably 12 or 13. Just being a girl becoming a woman and having to wear a damn bra! Not the best time.

PGN: What farm animal would you like to come back as?

NB: A cow; you get to stand around all day and eat grass. Of course I wouldn’t care for the breeding part …

PGN: Worst pick-up line you ever tried?

NB: I don’t know about a line, but a long time ago I tried one of those online dating sites. I met a woman and we went out a couple of times but she just wasn’t what I was looking for. About 20-something years later, after I’d broken up with my ex of 13 years, I went online again and, don’t you know, I picked the same damn woman again without realizing it! [Laughs] The minute she answered the phone I realized who she was. I guess she must have had a good profile that didn’t match the reality and I went for it. Twice!

PGN: If you had a “theme song” that played whenever you walk into a room full of people, what would it be?

NB: That song from “Cheers,” “Where Everybody Knows Your Name.” That would be nice.

For more information on Independence Squares, visit www.independencesquares.org

To suggest a community member for Family Portrait, email [email protected]

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