Matt Barber

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America is a weird place. On the one hand, we have court after court giving the legal middle finger to antigay-marriage laws across the land. On the other hand, we have a Supreme Court that just ruled that for-profit companies have religious beliefs and that those religious beliefs make it OK for them to deny contraceptive coverage to their employees.

It’s a big fuck you to the Affordable Care Act, to doctors, to women, to men who want to make sex with women but don’t want to make babies, and, yes, to people who have sincerely held religious beliefs. After all, the Supreme Court didn’t rule in favor of people here, it ruled in favor of giving for-profit corporations expanded rights that trump the rights of their employees. Which is an alarming trend of this Supreme Court.

So if you’re anything like me, you’ve had to make a concerted effort not to get into arguments on Facebook about the Supreme Court’s Hobby Lobby ruling because some dumb just cannot be cured and ain’t nobody got time for that.

To say that I am unhappy with the ruling is an understatement. Meanwhile, the religious right is super-excited about the ruling, and leading the circle jerk is Liberty Council’s Matt Barber.

You see, the hope is that this ruling will help pave the way for businesses to get out of having to abide by pesky discrimination laws that cover LGBT people.

“Hobby Lobby may help protect businesses from those pushing counter-biblical LGBT lifestyles and anti-Christian agenda,” Barber tweeted soon after the ruling was announced June 30.

And Lord knows that’s what businesses, the only “people” that really matter in America, need protection from: making wedding cakes for homos.

Later he tweeted: “Let me be clear: Yes, the Hobby Lobby case gives us hope that we may yet defeat the homofascist LGBT activist[s],” going on to reference the First Amendment.

The First Amendment, of course, applies only to Christians. If you’re not imaginary friends with Jesus, then STFU.

Also, it’s cute that he calls homos “fascists” like he’s scared of us. It also makes me wonder if he knows what a fascist is. I’ll give you a hint: It’s probably not a lesbian looking for a wedding photographer.

On Barber’s BarbWire (get it?) website, there is a photo of a Hobby Lobby store and imposed over the photo is an image of a hand holding a revolver pointing straight out at the viewer, the Obama reelection logo in the barrel, with “ObamaCare” written underneath. Which I guess is supposed to mean that somebody is going to shoot ObamaCare or maybe just Obama. It isn’t clear. In the top right-hand cover is the address to an end-times website that looks like it’s a parody, but it is not.

That the Hobby Lobby ruling should give Barber a boner and that he should follow that boner and arrive at the gays is not a surprise. He’s kind of obsessed.

According to Right Wing Watch, on his Faith and Freedom radio show, Barber claimed that marriage equality was the work of the devil. “Marriage is the cornerstone institution of any healthy society,” Barber said, “and so clearly the Father of Lies, the Enemy of the World, hates marriage, wants to destroy marriage and so this concept of counterfeit marriage, of same-sex marriage, is the brainchild.”

Which is how, in Barber’s twisted mind, Hobby Lobby, a for-profit company that sells hot glue and fake flowers, is an agent of the Lord.

As a legally married homo, I have to say I don’t feel like I’m an agent of Satan. I mean, for one thing, I don’t believe he exists. So if there’s some kind of lobbying I’m supposed to be doing on the devil’s behalf, I am doing a super-shitty job. Although I’d be flattered if Barber thought differently.