Anna Aagenes: On the GO!

“First of all, every player has played with gay guys. It bothers me when I hear these reporters and jocks get on TV and say, ‘Oh, no guy can come out in a team sport. These guys would go crazy.’ First of all, quit telling me what I think. I’d rather have a gay guy who can play than a straight guy who can’t play.” — Former NBA player Charles Barkley

We’ve come a long way as a community. I still marvel as I cheer when I hear Ellen or Elton or even the contestant on “Millionaire” casually speaking about their spouses on national TV. Same-sex marriage is gaining ground across the nation and we have a president who supports us. Even the world of athletics, long considered a bastion of homophobia, is slowly coming around thanks in part to out athletes like Anna Aagenes, a former track and field athlete at Penn. Aagenes is currently the district office director for out state Rep. Brian Sims and the executive director of GO! Athletes, an organization dedicated to educating and empowering out athletes. PGN: So Aagenes is an interesting name. What is the background, and how do you pronounce it? AA: [Laughs.] It’s pronounced “Aug-a-nus” and it’s Norwegian. My dad’s Norwegian.

PGN: Where are you from? AA: I’m from Bucks County, I grew up in a town called Plumsteadville, and then we moved to Doylestown when I was in middle school.

PGN: Family? AA: I have a brother, Russell, who is a year younger than me and a wonderful person. He works in New Hope and Lambertville.

PGN: Were you always an athlete? AA: Yeah, it’s always been a part of my life. It’s always been a part of my identity. I’ve played pretty much every sport but I was most known in school for playing soccer. Then in my junior year, I wanted to try something new and joined the cross-country team. One of my favorite parts of soccer was running on the field, but I had never thought of making that my sport until a friend suggested it.

PGN: Were either of your parents athletes? AA: Not really with any organized sports, but they’re both very athletic people. My dad is a carpenter so he’s outside a lot and he used to swim and play golf. My mom tried out for the cross-country team when she was in high school but she didn’t stick with it because she was the only girl, so there was no team for her to run with. Now she does duathlons and triathlons and is very competitive in her age group.

PGN: Your folks sound like driven people. AA: I’d say both my parents have a really strong work ethic. Growing up, we had a big backyard and we’d always be outside. My father would be out in his woodshop or mowing the lawn and my mom would be outside with us playing softball or basketball. We grew up with a lot of physical activity being a joyful part of our lives.

PGN: What extracurricular activities were you involved with outside of sports? AA: I’m a self-proclaimed nerd and always loved school. My mom still teases me because in the summer when school was out, I would give myself homework assignments. I loved learning new things. And beyond just learning about science and history, etc., I also loved learning about different types of people. It’s one of the reasons I was drawn to the city. It also prompted me to get involved with a lot of different activist causes. I was involved in the Amnesty Club and used to read a lot about Tibet and the nonviolence movement and of course women’s issues. I went to women’s-rights marches in Washington before I was in the 10th grade.

PGN: When did you first have an inkling that you might be gay? AA: I think I don’t have a typical story. I don’t look back and have all these signs to indicate that I liked girls. Maybe it’s because I identify as bisexual, there was never a time where I could say that I realized that I didn’t like boys. I kind of liked everyone in general! But the first time I realized that I definitely liked women was in ninth grade when I had a huge crush. I never acted on it until 11th grade when I had my first girlfriend. I met her through soccer and we dated my junior year. I actually brought her to prom with me.

PGN: That was pretty ballsy! AA: Yeah, there was no one out that I knew of in my grade, so there was no real precedent for it. I just asked and was told that there was no rule about what gender you could bring, but it was probably assumed that most girls going together were going as friends. But that night I publicly came out to everyone.

PGN: Good or bad reactions? AA: Good in that there were no outward negative reactions, but I think I subtly lost a few friends who just kind of faded away after prom. But for the most part, it was very positive. I’ve always had fantastic allies in my life and felt really supported.

PGN: Best and craziest sports moment? AA: I have very strong, emotional moments from the Penn Relays. To be in high school and go to a huge meet like that, bigger and faster and more exciting than anything you’ve been involved in, is extraordinary. Knowing that I was going to be attending Penn made it even more significant. I remember getting to run in the championship 4 x 4 my junior and senior years. I ran all four years in college but that junior year was special, I ran two relays in one day, the 4 x 1,500 and the sprint medley, and we broke school records in both. I’ve won individual races but there’s something special about doing it with your teammates; passing the baton off knowing that you’ve given everything you have and trusting your teammate to do her best. Like in anything in life, you have on days and off days, but when all four of you come together and are “on” on the same day, it’s kind of magical.

PGN: How terrifying is it passing a baton? AA: It’s actually scarier receiving the baton. You have someone coming in really fast and often there’s a lot of traffic. You’re trying to grab the stick while being elbowed and knocked around and there’s always a fear of falling over someone or dropping the baton. When you’re handing it over and you trip in the traffic at least you’ve done your job. If you trip after you receive it, it’s hard to make up that time.

PGN: I still haven’t heard about your craziest moment. AA: I guess the 4 x 8 race we had in high school was the most epic. We were the underdogs racing against national winners. One of the girls on the team picked to win was a Footlocker finalist winner. Our leadoff girl had been out injured so we were worried about how she would do. She ran the first leg and was in second or third position but then fell passing off the baton. The girl receiving it also tripped in the melee and we lost about five-six seconds, which in race time is huge. She ran her heart out and passed the baton to my friend Clare, who ran the race of her life against the national champion. She was right on her back, neck and neck, when she handed the baton to me. It was one of those moments when you didn’t even hear any noise. I was just laser-focused. I’d just seen people I was very close to run faster than we’d ever thought possible. I started running and ran a 2.09 with someone breathing down my back who was supposed to be the better runner. It was beyond what I thought was possible and we won despite starting with a fall that should have taken us out of the race. It was just one of those magical moments. PGN: Tell me a little about GO! Athletes. AA: Well, GO! — which stands for Generation Out — is a national network of current and former LGBTQA student athletes and allies. We work at high school, collegiate and post-graduate levels to educate and empower student athletes.

PGN: I like the High 5 concept I read about. AA: Yes, the five objectives are: visibility, because we believe it’s important to have role models. I always thought that if there had been a lesbian or bi version of Mia Hamm growing up or a Megan Rapinoe, it would have made things a lot more comfortable for me. Support; we have everything from one-on-one counseling for athletes who are struggling with questions about their sexual orientation or gender identity and we help students trying to create their own LGBTQA athlete organizations on campus. Education; we work with school administrators, coaches and fans, we distribute print and online materials and do events and workshops. Advocacy; we monitor NCAA collegiate athletic policies in order to ensure that students are protected from discriminatory issues and help advise the NCAA on how best to serve the needs of LGBTQA student athletes. And finally, leadership; we have a new resource guide and hold yearly summits during the summer.

PGN: I remember when there was resentment of butch women because people in the community felt they were too “manly,” and of effeminate gay men because they were too “girly.” I’d hoped we’d moved past that but I think of people like Brittney Griner receiving flack from the LGBT community for being too masculine. AA: Right, the internal policing we tend to do needs to stop. We need to raise awareness about that. As you mentioned, when Brittney came out, the conversation wasn’t even about her sexual orientation, it was about what she looked like, which shows how stereotypes within and outside of the community are still prevalent. I’ve seen some of the most hateful and disheartening comments about trans athletes come from within our community. I know a lot of female athletes who are afraid of being labeled as lesbian or queer just because they played a sport or had short hair. We all need to check our perceptions of what it means to be or look athletic and not make assumptions ourselves. Outside of my athlete work, I also do workshops on bi-phobia in the LGBT community. We have a lot of bi- and trans-phobia in the community. One of the campaigns we’ve been working on is for Fallon Fox, the first transgender MMA [Mixed Martial Arts] fighter. We try to provide resources to make sure all women are included in the conversation. PGN: Are you still finding a lot of bi-phobia? AA: Yes, I think in the LGBT world, the B and the T tend to get overshadowed by the L and the G. I think it has a lot to do with representation and there hasn’t been much in the bi community. I think to a lot of people it’s still thought of as a phase. Speaking personally, it was a struggle for me and there were times when I wished I was one or the other.

PGN: I think what happens is that for a lot of us who identify as gay, we used the lie that we were bisexual to kind of ease into the scary label of gay or lesbian. Because we were using the label of bisexuality as a stepping stone, we think everybody does, when for many it’s not a stepping stone, but the platform where they belong. AA: True, and for some it’s easier to try to understand things as black or white. For a long time, I choose not to label myself but then I realized that it was important to raise awareness about bisexuality and hopefully act as a role model for anyone who identifies as such.

PGN: Now that you mention it, I can think of a lot of lesbian and gay public figures, but not any bi ones. Can you name three? AA: I’d say Robyn Ochs, Margaret Cho — she’s amazing — and Angelina Jolie — she’s a gorgeous person inside and out.

PGN: And now for random questions. A favorite family tradition? AA: Christmas at my grandmother’s house. We always go there the night before — my dad, my brother and my stepmom; my parents are divorced — and it’s always special.

PGN: Give me three sentences about your grandmother. AA: My grandmother is an angel walking on earth. She has a heart of gold and still has both her Norwegian accent and citizenship. She’s always looked after me, and she’s one of the people that I’m closest to in the world.

PGN: If you had to gain 20 pounds, what would you eat? AA: Philadelphia has some of the best ice cream, frozen yogurt and gelato places in the world, so I could probably manage to put on 20 pounds pretty quickly if I had to eat mint-chocolate-chip everything.

PGN: Your worst hairstyle? AA: Bangs. Bangs were a big mistake. And I went brunette once, not good for me. I very quickly went back to being a blonde.

PGN: What athlete would make the best president? AA: Brendon Ayanbadejo, the former Ravens linebacker. He’s really been an eloquent speaker as an LGBT ally and he’s very involved in social-justice issues. We need more great guys like him.

For more information on GO! Athletes, visit www.goathletes.org.

To suggest a community member for Family Portrait, write to [email protected].

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