Fostering a coming-out

Jodie Foster finally put to rest the rumors that have pursued for her decades — yes, she is single.

Or at least that’s how she teased the audience at the Golden Globe Awards, dropping that bomb after her seemingly nervous buildup to what most likely presumed would be her public coming-out. Instead, her “coming out” was a mere afterthought and her speech ultimately left the social-media world abuzz with head-scratching — but it presented an interesting opportunity to examine the evolution of and expectations for the coming-out process.

After her single quip, the actor-director went on to say in her acceptance of a lifetime achievement award, “I hope you’re not disappointed this is not a big coming-out speech tonight. I already did my coming out about 1,000 years ago, back in the Stone Age,” eliciting loud applause from the Hollywood crowd.

So Foster essentially came out publicly, without coming out publicly. She even poked fun at celebrities who come out with a “press conference, fragrance and primetime reality show.”

Instead, her process was a personal one and, ultimately, each LGBT person’s is the same. Foster said she came out to the people who matter — family, friends, coworkers, people she has “actually” met. She gave those who have long criticized her the rhetorical middle finger, basically telling them that it was not that she was in any way ashamed of her LGBT identity but that they were not deserving to be let into the personal side of her life. Instead, she spoke directly to her former parent, her two children and her mother, telling them that all of her work had been solely for them. While some criticized Foster for being scattered or nervous, the tears in her eyes and in those of many of the audience members communicated the power of the moment, as she took back control that had long been usurped by gossip rags and paparazzi.

While her speech got a multitude of play in the following days, it wasn’t because Foster confirmed that she was a lesbian but rather because she confirmed the longstanding rumors and in such a public way — the fact that a major Hollywood celeb came out as LGBT is becoming less and less of a news item. The day after the Golden Globes, “Argo” actor Victor Garber, well known from his role in “Titanic,” confirmed to a blogger that he too is family. And he did so not with a press conference, fragrance or a primetime reality show but in a casual interview that made few headlines, and rightfully so.

While some LGBT celebrities may choose to be a public face for the movement, just as many may strive for a pseudo-ordinary life, in the non-Hollywood LGBT crowd, some people choose to be community activists and others prefer to keep a lower profile. And neither is wrong.

So kudos, Foster, for showing people that a public coming-out is neither necessary nor required for one to lead a full LGBT life.

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