“You see, you spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball, and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time.” — Jim Bouton, Ball Four, 1970
This week, Philadelphia is about to be visited by a lot of folks in the grip of the game as the city hosts the Amateur Sports Alliance of North America Softball World Series. This week’s portrait is with Sue Gildea, commissioner of the recreational division of the host group, the City of Brotherly Love Softball League.
PGN: Tell me a little about yourself. SG: My hometown is Springfield, and I’m the oldest of four: one sister and two brothers. The Gildean household was your typical Irish-Catholic household — lots of fun, lots of food, lots of family. I have 25 first cousins, so there were always communion parties, graduation parties, a lot of activity. We are a very close-knit family. As a matter of fact, we just got back from vacationing in Sea Isle City with some cousins. Every year we rent a bunch of houses and go have some fun.
PGN: What did you want to be when you grew up? SG: I wanted to be a professional baseball player.
PGN: Not softball? SG: Yeah, back when I was a kid, I used to watch games with my dad. We’d enjoy all the statistical information together and you don’t really have that for softball. I was passionate about the whole history of baseball. So I wanted to play baseball … or become a librarian. I’m a real bookworm.
PGN: What team did you root for? SG: The Phillies! Absolutely … even when they were horrible. You live with them and you die with them.
PGN: And what’s your day job? SG: I’m the director of quality assurance and training at Aqua America. We provide water to approximately 3 million people in 12 states.
PGN: What’s the biggest concern for the future of water? SG: Infrastructure. In Philadelphia, some of the pipes still in use are from colonial days. We need to put money and resources into the ground to be able to provide clean water. It’s really, really important. Every time you see a pipe or water main break, it’s because we need to take better care of the delivery methods.
PGN: I remember one time I turned on the water and it came out yellow. I called the water company and they asked if anyone was doing construction nearby. They told me it was probably rust being dislodged by the shaking of the jackhammers! SG: Unfortunately that happens sometimes, but overall we’re very lucky. We have the ability to get clean water just by turning a faucet.
PGN: True, I’m a documentary junkie and I’ve seen the miles people have to walk just to get a bucket of water. SG: It’s such a shame that people don’t have the access to clean water that we do. But there are a lot of people developing technology to provide people around the world with clean water. I went to St. Joe’s [University] and I read on the alumni site that they’re working on a filtration system using sand and gravity.
PGN: I know there are places around the world where water is a hot commodity. SG: Yes, they’re literally calling it the world’s next oil. It’s raining right now as we speak and it’s the same rain that fell 2,000 years ago. You don’t invent water, it can’t be created: We just recycle it over and over. With the drought situations people face, especially in Third World countries that already face famine problems, it’s even more precious.
PGN: And how did you get into the water business? SG: I’ve been in customer service for over 25 years. My primary role is to train our customer-service reps. I’m also involved with AWWA, which is the American Water Works Association. They have a great training program so that we fully understand how water works, everything it goes through before it comes out of your faucet. So I’m certified in the history of water!
PGN: When did you come out? SG: Well, being from an Irish-Catholic family, you’re expected to go the traditional route and get married and have kids, so I did that. I got married at 21 and had my daughter, Caitlin. Soon after, I began to expand my horizons and realized that I wasn’t happy in the marriage and wasn’t being true to myself. I wanted something better for me and for Caitlin. I got divorced and had my first relationship with a woman when I was 24. I think it was different back then; I went to great lengths to get an LGBT-friendly lawyer to make sure I could retain custody, which was a big concern back then. It got better and I don’t regret any decisions I made.
PGN: Do you have a partner now? SG: Yes, Allison and I have been together for 13 years. It’s a mulligan: We were together for three and a half years, broke up and saw other people and then got back together.
PGN: Something great about Allison? SG: She’s a personal chef, so when she needs to try out new recipes, I am lucky to be the test subject for her research and development.
PGN: Sweet! Does she have a sister? SG: [Laughs.] Yes, but she’s straight. She comes from a big Italian family, so she has a passion and love for food courtesy of her mom.
PGN: Tell me about your involvement with sports. SG: I have been a member of the City of Brotherly Love Softball League for the last 15 years. I started off as a scorekeeper because my girlfriend played for one of the teams in the women’s division and, since then, I’ve been a player, a coach, a manager, the PR person for the league, I was the commissioner between 2001-04 and now I’m the recreational division’s commissioner. We’re really excited about hosting the world series here. There are going to be games throughout the week and supporting events and parties every night.
PGN: What are some of the events other than the games? SG: We’re doing the official opening party at Sisters on the 24th with a pre-party event on the pool deck of the DoubleTree hotel. On the 26th, we’re having the largest gay tailgate party in America before the Gay Day at the Phillies. We’ll have games, food, beer and lots of enthusiasm. On the 27th we’re having the ASANA Carniball, an Outfest-style street fair with great vendors, a Dunk-a-Dyke, a mechanical bull, food, drinks, dancing and a whole lot more. You can find out more about those events and everything else, like our bar crawl, at www.bringthelove2011.org!
PGN: I think a misconception people have is that the City of Brotherly Love Softball League is all boys. SG: One of the things that got us the world series is that we added the tagline “and Sisterly Affection” to our proposal. In prior years, CBLSL may have been primarily men, but the women’s division now has 18 teams, even more than our open division, which are the co-ed teams. The women really represent a good portion of what our league is about. Unlike many leagues that play separately, we mix it up. We all get along really well, we party together and it’s all about unity for us instead of division, which we’re very proud of.
PGN: What was a favorite moment in softball? SG: My team, the Stogie Joe’s Sluggers, were 0-32. We hadn’t won a game in two years and on opening day of this year, I told everyone, it’s a new year and a new attitude. We’re going to get a win this year, even if it’s only one! In our first game, I caught the final out that won us the game and seeing everyone’s face as we finally got a win was amazing. The jubilation of ending two years without a win was one of the best moments I experienced.
PGN: What position do you play? SG: First base and catcher mostly, but I’ll play wherever it’s needed.
PGN: OK, random questions. Something people would be surprised to find out about you? SG: I’m shy.
PGN: Really? SG: [Laughs.] Yeah, that’s what everyone’s reaction is. But I truly am, I just get over it by trying to put myself in people’s shoes. I try to focus on them. If I’m doing a lecture in front of 100 people, I’ll try to meet some of them beforehand and that way, it’s more like, Oh, there’s Suzi in the crowd, I’ll just pretend I’m talking to her one on one instead of hundreds of people.
PGN: Aside from Allison, who would you have wanted as your prom date? SG: Jody Foster!
PGN: An item you still have from childhood? SG: I don’t really have anything, but I made up for it by keeping things from my daughter’s childhood. She had a blanket we called the “dub-dub” that’s horribly worn out but I still have a piece of it.
PGN: A favorite relative? SG: Well, that would be a group. I have a bunch of uncles and aunts in their 70s and 80s that I cherish and adore. They’re wonderful storytellers and have such vitality and passion about them that it’s infectious and contagious. So I know I’ll be living well into my 80s and enjoying life like they do. You can’t even tell how old they are, they just enjoy life so much. It was my dad’s birthday recently and we took him and his brother to a Phillies game. We had a great time and afterward, Allison and I went home and they went out to the neighborhood bar and continued the party!
PGN: Worst punishment? SG: Having my library card taken away; I was devastated.
PGN: A favorite book? SG: Shel Silverstein’s “The Giving Tree.” I think we need it more than ever now with these flash-mob kids running around with their pants hanging down. We need to teach respect again.
PGN: What is your favorite way to waste time at work? SG: Talking to people, especially getting to know new people. I don’t really play on the computer much: I’d rather talk face to face. I just finally got a Facebook account this year, but I don’t use it much.
PGN: An example of good sportsmanship? SG: This past year, we had a member of our league pass away, Stephen Gallagher. He was a pitcher for the Crazy Uncles and after his funeral, the first game we had was against them. The pitcher taking his place wasn’t very experienced and hadn’t had time to practice much. It was a very emotional time for everyone and I walked up to the umpire before the game and explained the situation. I asked him to give the new pitcher a generous strike zone until he got settled in a little. The first pitch was way high and the umpire called it a strike. I went back over to him and said, “I said be generous, not blind!” But it was nice; before the game, the teams came together in a circle and had a moment of silence, and at the end of the game where we typically do a separate cheer for the other team, we came together again and did a joint cheer for Stephen. It was very touching.
PGN: Something you’re proud of? SG: Caitlin is graduating from Kutztown University this year with a major in communications and a minor in gender studies and she’s president of the Feminist Majority Leadership Alliance in Kutztown.
PGN: I’m glad to hear someone doesn’t think feminist is a dirty word! How did she deal with having a lesbian mother? SG: She was young when I got divorced, but all my fellow softball players were an extended family. She calls them all her aunts and uncles. I never really talked about it, but one day she found an invitation that was written to a former girlfriend of mine, and it was addressed to her and “guest.” She asked why my name wasn’t on it. We were breaking up so I told Caitlin that she was going to take someone else to the party. She turned and asked, “So are they gay?” I was like, “Oh boy, how do I answer this?” But I just said yes and then she started asking me about a whole lot of our friends and if they were gay. She finally got to me and, when I said yes, I was gay too, she started to cry. I asked her why she was so upset and she said it was because I hadn’t told her before. From that day on she was supportive of me and all of her “extended” family. She’s a big supporter of The Trevor Project, which just joined us as a nonprofit partner for Bring the Love 2011, and we’re going to be filming “It Gets Better” videos at the tailgate party and some of the events. Caitlin’s going to volunteer the whole week. Her decision completely. [Laughs.] She’s too old for me to tell her what to do or ground her if she doesn’t: This was something she wanted to do on her own.
PGN: Are you looking for other volunteers? SG: Yes, I am seeking people to act as possible ASANA ambassadors and showcase our amazing city. People can contact me at [email protected] if they are interested.
PGN: I understand you got to throw out the first pitch at the 2004 Gay Day at the Phillies. What was that like? SG: Scary. I was terrified of not getting the ball to home plate. A couple of weeks before I went to a game where Eagles coach Andy Reid threw out the first pitch for “Mormon Day” and it didn’t even reach the plate. My friends turned to me and were like, “You’d better not embarrass us like that!” I practiced so much I almost threw my arm out! But the day of the game I threw it so hard the Phanatic said he thought I was trying to hurt him. It was surreal. But great fun!
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