Already a hit with theater and cabaret audiences in Provincetown, Mass. , Atlanta, Chicago and New York, the performer known far and wide as Miss Richfield 1981 will perform in Philadelphia for the first time Oct. 7-9 at Society Hill Playhouse’s Red Room.
The former Midwestern beauty queen and all-around laugh riot was cooling her heels in her trailer in her hometown of Richfield, Minn., when PGN caught up with her to talk about what fresh and inappropriate hilarity she plans to unleash upon the City of Brotherly Love and Sisterly Affection.
PGN: What is it about Midwestern beauty queens that people find so fascinating? MR: I can’t explain it either! Perhaps it’s my subtle natural beauty, my booming baritone vibrato or my consistent use of the Pamprin with codeine that I get from Mexico.
PGN: Do you have any advice for the newer beauty queen-types out there like Carrie Prejean? MR: Something my mother told me as a child: “Always pack a smile in your handbag! Because you can lose your money, you can lose your lipstick and you can lose your dignity, but as long as you’ve got a smile, you’ll always be able to find some trucker to give you a ride home!”
PGN: A lot of our readers are excited that you’re coming to town. Have you ever visited Philadelphia? MR: I was in the Philly area a number of years back for the 52nd Annual National Lutheran Bingo Callers Convention. We had wonderful and affordable accommodations at the Club Body Center on Chancellor, as I recall. I remember it as a friendly place with sort of a late-night clientele, and all the towels you needed! I hope it’s still there!
PGN: What is the significance of the “1981” in your name? MR: A beauty pageant, of course! I was crowned on a plywood stage in Richfield, Minn. That’s where I received my title as a result of my floor-length polyester gown, a handsaw and a small fire that horribly disfigured the other 11 contestants. Next question!
PGN: What’s wrong with your politicians over there in Minnesota? MR: Hmm, not really into politics! I’m too busy living life to be reading about it! But personally, I think that crazy Jesse Ventura proved that we’re not afraid to try something different and the good Sen. Al Franken proves that we like fun! Not to mention we’ve been blue since the late ’70s.
PGN: What is the message behind your new show, “Asians and Homos and Jews … Oh My.” MR: The brothers are running the show now and it’s time to get along! So I’ll be reaching out, but not touching, those who are different in color, religious beliefs and even physical capabilities. Nobody is left out of this show, which I promise will go to new depths because it’s a new world out there!
PGN: Who do you draw inspiration from for your performances? MR: My idols are Mother Theresa and that Christian gal on “The View.” But I live by the book “That Girl In Your Mirror,” which is authored by Vonda Kay Van Dyke, Miss America 1965. A good Christian woman who captured this esteemed title, Vonda had one lung removed, then continued on a career as a ventriloquist and mother!
PGN: Do you ever worry about imposters going around pretending that they are you? MR: Not really, because they’d have to look like they’re from Richfield and I think that’s a look I’ve mastered. You can’t duplicate my hair that’s jacked up to Jesus and sprayed to France! My naturally raven bouffant is always at its best because I wrap it in toilet paper and sleep on my face!
PGN: Is there a big difference in the shows you perform in the U.S. and the shows you do internationally? MR: Not usually. Although when I’m in Canada I always tell the jokes twice.
PGN: Do you find that younger audiences are easier to offend with off-color humor? MR: Off-color? What are you trying to say? I’m always in an appropriate color. If you look closely, I always wear white patent leather shoes, because they make my feet look small. And then I insist on a matching handbag and gloves. So color has never been an issue for me. Now young people, yes, they are sometimes a problem — children in particular. I don’t care for them, as they’re often sticky and I have such nice things! I think that covers it.
PGN: Who is the most famous person you’ve ever seen in the audience at one of your shows? MR: Chita Rivera came to my show in New York City last summer and brought her family. Originally hailing from Puerto Rico, Chita is my favorite Mexican in the world!
PGN: Where do you find your fancy clothes? MR: You may find this hard to believe, but I don’t shop on the sale racks. I wait until the clothes are heaped on tables or in large barrels. That’s when you get the deals. And I am strict about ensuring that all my gowns are machine washable, fire-resistant and made in the Philippines, where the children really know quality stitching.
PGN: Has Hollywood ever come knocking on your trailer door wanting to make you a huge star? MR: Constantly, but I’m seldom there! My church, A Mighty Fortress Lutheran Church in Richfield, has me on the road most of the time, so I’m hardly home for more than a few days. They’re always working on a special collection to buy me another bus ticket to go someplace else — one way, of course — you know it’s Jesus and he isn’t made of money! At the price of Greyhound tickets, I must motor through the country alone. But I am not lonely, as I always sit in front and visit with the driver.
PGN: Do you think you’ll ever move out of the trailer park or Minnesota? MR: No, not since I took the wheels off my trailer two years ago and planted some nice geraniums around the hitch. I’m here to stay!
Miss Richfield 1981 performs at 8 p.m. Oct. 7-9 at Society Hill Playhouse’s Red Room, 507 S. Eighth St. For more information, visit www.societyhillplayhouse.org or www.missrichfield.com.
Larry Nichols can be reached at [email protected].