OK, Christmas, Solstice, Kwanza and Hanukkah are closing in fast; in the case of the latter, there are just two days left.
Yeah, we know. Some of you thought, “Oh, the economy is bad, I’m not going to spend any money on gifts this year.” Others were like, “The holiday is just too commercial and I’m not buying into the hype.” Even more of you (us included) said to yourselves, “Eff it, I don’t feel like stampeding with the herd into the local mall. I’m taking a nap.”
But it is really on us now, and all those pretenses are crumbling like stale gingerbread. You’re realizing that you have to put something under the tree, lest we look as broke and destitute as we really are. But being lazy and desperate doesn’t mean that your procrastinating, no-time-management-skills-having ass has to buy gifts that scream: “I went to Target!”
Luckily for you, we made a mad dash around and through the Gayborhood and eyeballed some of the fabulous gifts you can pick up in a last-minute gift-buying blitz.
Philadelphia Home Art Garden, 1225 Walnut St., is the place to go for attention-grabbing gifts. Nothing says “What recession?” like Affluence’s jumbo wine goblets and martini glasses ($32.50-$34.50). Each glass is emblazoned with gold trim and comes packaged in its own metallic luggage-style gift box. Just in time for New Year’s!
Another eye-catcher is the assortment of holiday pornaments ($18.50 each) that will add a little kink to the Christmas tree.
The Voo Doo Knife Set ($74.50) is definitely on our twisted wish list. Designed to resemble the “Wheel of Death,” this item is a fun must-have for anyone who is addicted to watching “Top Chef.”
For something more stylish, Tattooed Dinnerware ($12.50 per piece) definitely hits the mark. The inked dish collection features the exclusive Irezumi artwork of famed Sunset Strip tattoo artist Paul Timman, who has done tats for Drew Barrymore, Tommy Lee and Angelina Jolie, to name a few.
Duross & Langel, 117 S. 13th St., offers a pleasant selection of gift boxes featuring made-in-house bath and beauty products. Their Christmas Gift Box ($29) features two 5-ounce soap bars, a soy wax candle and shea moisturizer. They also offer smaller gift boxes ($16), such as the Choco Box and Vanilla Box.
Portfolio, 128 N. Broad St., offers a cool selection of arty jewelry, accessories and books. Definitely check out the Kambashi Freak-o-bags ($16.95). The handmade eco-bags look like colorful creatures but open up to become sturdy 16-inch-square tote bags that can be used again and again. When you’re done with the bag, simply stuff it back into the attached pet and clip it onto anything.
Also check out the Twist and Pout Lip Clips ($9.50), colorfully patterned metal spheres containing lip moisturizer that clips to belt loops, backpacks and bags.
For the person you just can’t figure out in the gift department, you might want to check out Buckyballs ($29.95), an interesting knick-knack consisting of 216 rare earth magnets that can be shaped in unlimited ways … and guarantee this thing will be re-gifted over and over again until the end of time.
Scarlet Fiorella, 113 S. 13th St., specializes in products for home and child. The Dasha mirrors by Deux Lux ($26) immediately jumped out at us. These retro and fashionable compacts are a great way to have people check you out while you’re checking yourself out. If you have freshly spawned little ones to shop for, the baby one-pieces ($24) with precocious sayings like “No Habla” are good choices.
Between the upscale selection of chocolate and flowers, Verde, 108 S. 13th St., has enough to make you look like the favorite offspring, significant other or party guest. Their Grab & Go floral arrangements ($18) look like you paid a lot more than you did.
For people who are more do-it-yourselfers in regard to plants and have long since graduated from Chia Pets (which, to our utter disbelief, are still going strong), check out the ready-to-grow holiday Peppermint Amaryllis ($42) in its own handmade bamboo growing box.
It’s good to know the housing crash hasn’t affected our fine-feathered friends. Verdi’s boutique birdhouses made out of old novels ($124) are sure to give our local avian neighbors something to sing about.
Don’t forget to grab some chocolate while you’re there. Verde’s artisan chocolates are made in-house and selling like wildfire. You can choose from a number of tasty flavors in four-piece ($7.95), six-piece ($11.95), 15-piece ($28.95) and 24-piece ($44.95) assortments.
Hurry, time is running out.
Larry Nichols can be reached at [email protected].