Creep of the Week: Carrie Prejean

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Oh, Carrie Prejean. Give it up.

There was a time I felt sorry for Miss Prejean. It sucked that when she was asked about gay marriage at the Miss USA pageant — by Perez Hilton, no less — she choked and sounded, well, kind of dumb.

Prejean said, “Well, I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And, you know what? In my country, in my family, I think that I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised and that’s how I think it should be, between a man and a woman.”

She’s entitled to her opinion. And, last time I checked, Miss USA wasn’t in charge of marriage laws. As I understand Miss USA’s duties, she’s supposed to cry when she wins, hug people and not show her titties or her Miss V-A-G.

So when folks like Hilton went apeshit, I thought they were being ridiculous and overly nasty. And it was partly due to this uproar that Prejean became the pretty pretty princess of the antigay right. Creatures like Maggie Gallagher were more than happy to wipe the mascara off Prejean’s cheeks and protect her from the big, bad homos.

So it’s not surprising that Prejean spoke at this year’s Values Voter Summit, a sort of antigay right orgy of political activism. Standing before a background emblazoned with the names and logos of rabidly antigay groups like the American Family Association and Family Research Council, Prejean milks it.

“I always thought of pageants as doing better for the world,” she said. She saw Miss America winners as “women who were going to go out there and save the world.”

You know, like Jesus in a bikini.

“I knew … as soon as I didn’t give the politically correct answer, that there was no way that I would be Miss USA,” she said. “But … I am so proud of the stance that I took. I am so proud of the answer that I gave. And God chose me for that moment because he knew that I would not only be the one to stick up for him [as she said this, she pointed to the ceiling] and for the truth, but also he knew that I am strong enough to get through all of the junk that I have been through.”

And the crowd goes wild.

Honey, you didn’t lose because you weren’t “politically correct.” No offense to anybody out there, but I think that I believe you can blame “opposite marriage.” Had you been on “American Idol,” maybe you would’ve scored points with Paula Abdul, who once made a video about her tumultuous “opposite” relationship with MC Skat Kat. But you were in the Miss USA pageant, and typically winners are people who can articulate a coherent thought.

“I am not a hater of anyone. I’m not. This is not a matter of me hating any particular group. Or me being a bigot,” she said. “It’s just I was a woman who stood up for the truth.”

That’s right. Carrie Prejean is basically the Rosa Parks of the antigay right.

Do I smell a Sarah Palin running mate for 2012?

D’Anne Witkowski has been gay for pay since 2003. She’s a freelance writer and poet (believe it!). When she’s not taking on the creeps of the world, she reviews rock ’n’ roll shows in Detroit with her twin sister and teaches writing at the University of Michigan.