Diversions: Sept. 25-Oct. 2

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THEATER Billy Crystal: 700 Sundays Crystal’s autobiographical Tony-winning blockbuster deals with his youth, growing up in the jazz world of Manhattan, his teenage years and finally adulthood, Sept. 30-Oct. 11 at The Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St.; (215) 790-5847.

The Compleat Works of Wllm Shkspr (Abridged) Theatre Horizon will perform all 37 of Shakespeare’s plays in just two hours in the side-splitting marathon, Sept. 25-27 at The Colonial Theatre, 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville; (610) 917-0223.

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels The Walnut Street Theater presents the story of two suave and shameless con-men with two very different styles, through Oct. 25, 825 Walnut St.; (215) 574-3550.

Haunted Poe Brat Productions presents a theatrical take on a Halloween tradition, the haunted house, with an immersive, multi-sensory experience devoted to the 200th anniversary of Edgar Allen Poe’s birth, Oct. 1-Nov. 1 at Haunted Poe Warehouse, 38 Jackson St.; (800) 838-3006.

The History Boys The Arden Theatre presents the acclaimed drama chronicling the final school year of eight clever young British students in pursuit of sex, sport and admission into Oxford or Cambridge, through Nov. 1, 40 N. Second St.; (215) 922-1122.

Mister, Mister Quince Productions presents a dark comedy about murder, fame and not-so-innocent childhood, Oct. 1-11 at Walnut Street Theater’s Studio 5, 825 Walnut St., and Oct. 15-25 at Shubin Theater, 407 Bainbridge St.; (215) 627-1088.

Nathan The Wise People’s Light & Theatre Company kicks off its 35th-anniversary season with the American premiere of a story celebrating our differences as well as our shared humanity set in 1192 in Jerusalem, where Jews, Christians and Muslims live side by side, through Oct. 11, 39 Conestoga Road, Malvern; (610) 647-1900.

Neil Simon’s Rumors, A Farce The Players Club of Swarthmore Theater presents a production full of evasions, lies, slamming doors and assumed identities, culminating in a wildly implausible explanation of the whole tangled plot to a skeptical policeman, through Sept. 26, 614 Fairview Road, Swarthmore; (610) 328-4271.

Who Will Carry the Word? Philly Fringe presents the poetic, heartbreaking play based on the memoirs of actual Holocaust survivor Charlotte Delbo, through Sept. 26 at Second Stage at Adrienne Theater, 2030 Sansom St.; (215) 413-1318.

MUSIC CLASSICAL Sonny Rollins The iconic jazz tenor saxophonist performs at 8 p.m. Sept. 25 at Kimmel’s Verizon Hall, 240 S. Broad St.; (215) 790-5847.

Orchestra 2001: George Turns 80 and Music at Penn Orchestra 2001 salutes Pulitzer Prize-winning composer George Crumb on his 80th birthday with performances of excerpts from his monumental “American Songbook” series, 8 p.m. Sept. 25 at Kimmel’s Perelman Theater, 240 S. Broad St.; (215) 790-5847.

Opening Night The Philadelphia Orchestra presents a concert beginning with Hector Berlioz’s Roman Carnival Overture and Saint-Saëns’ concerto-like “Organ” Symphony, 7 p.m. Sept. 26 at Kimmel’s Verizon Hall, 240 S. Broad St.; (215) 790-5847.

Dutoit Conducts Saint-Saëns The Philadelphia Orchestra’s chief conductor and artistic adviser opens his second season with Saint-Saëns’ thunderous Third Symphony, 2 p.m. Sept. 25 and 8 p.m. Sept. 29 at Kimmel’s Verizon Hall, 240 S. Broad St.; (215) 790-5847.

MUSIC OTHER Jill Hennessey The singer-songwriter and actress (“Law & Order”) performs at 8 p.m. Sept. 25 at World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St.; (215) 222-1400.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs The rock band performs at 8 p.m. Sept. 26 at the Borgata Hotel Casino and Spa Music Box, 1 Borgata Way, Atlantic City, N.J.; (609) 317-1000.

Porcupine Tree with King’s X The progressive rock bands perform at 8 p.m. Sept. 26 at the Electric Factory, 421 N. Seventh St.; (215) 627-1332.

Sugar Town This month’s night of lady rockers and DJs features gay performers Dangerous Ponies, Renminbi, Void Vision (Shari from Sex Dwarf), Rachel Tension and DJ Lil Sis at 9 p.m. Sept. 26 at Tritone, 1508 South St.; (215) 545–0475.

EXHIBITS The Art of Japanese Craft: 1875 to the Present The Philadelphia Museum of Art presents an exhibition surveying the rich diversity of 20th-century Japanese craft, through Oct. 18, 2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy.; (215) 763-8100.

Autumnal Visions Edge Gallery presents an exhibition by artist Mike Watson, who explores nature through an abstract filter, through Sept. 27, 72 N. Second St.; (215) 413-7072.

Common Ground: Eight Philadelphia Photographers in the 1960s and 1970s The Philadelphia Museum of Art presents an exhibition examining a critical period for the art of photography and for the Philadelphia art scene, through Jan. 31, 2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy.; (215) 763-8100.

David Kube The William Way LGBT Community Center presents an exhibition celebrating the grand-prize winner of the center’s fourth annual Juried Art Exhibition, through Sept. 25, 1315 Spruce St.; (215) 732-2220.

Diana: A Celebration The National Constitution Center presents an exhibition exploring Princess Diana’s childhood, her engagement to Prince Charles, their royal wedding and Diana’s life and work as a global humanitarian, Oct. 1-Dec. 31, 525 Arch St.; (866) 917-1787.

Embracing the Uncarved Wood: Sculptural Reliefs from Shandong, China Leonard Pearlstein Gallery presents an exhibition featuring 18 large wood reliefs that combine traditional Chinese carving methods with very untraditional subject matter drawn from contemporary and international art sources, through Oct. 21 at Nesbitt Hall, 3215 Market St.; (215) 895-2548.

Henri Matisse and Modern Art on the French Riviera The Philadelphia Museum of Art presents an exhibition of art inspired by the Mediterranean vacation spot, through Oct. 25, 2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy.; (215) 763-8100.

A Home For Ghosts ArtStar Gallery hosts an exhibition of works from artist Kurt Halsey, through Nov. 1, 623 N. Second St.; (215) 238-1557.

Peaks of Faith: Buddhist Art of the Himalayas The Philadelphia Museum of Art presents an exhibition encompassing nearly a millennium of art from across the Himalayan region, through fall 2009, 2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy.; (215) 763-8100.

Ragas and Rajas: Musical Imagery of Courtly India The Philadelphia Museum of Art presents a diverse selection of paintings and sculptures from across the subcontinent, through Feb. 28, 2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy.; (215) 763-8100.

Shopping in Paris: French Fashion 1850-1925 The Philadelphia Museum of Art presents an exhibition exploring the American experience abroad between 1850 and 1925, through Oct. 25, 2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy.; (215) 763-8100.

Surfacing AxD Gallery presents an exhibition of paintings by Paul Davis Jones, through Oct. 3, 265 S. 10th St.; (215) 627-6250.

What Were They Thinking: 160 Years of Bad Taste Mid-Atlantic Center for the Arts presents an exhibition of styles that were the height of fashion at some point in recent history, through Nov. 8 at The Carriage House Gallery at the Emlen Physick Estate, 1048 Washington St., Cape May, N.J.; (609) 884-5404.

OPERA Nerone (Nero) Amici Opera Company presents Boito’s opera, at 2:30 p.m. Sept. 28 at Garden Church Trinity Methodist, 82 N. Lansdowne Ave., Lansdowne; (610) 623-1644.

DANCE Kun-Yang Lin Workshop New York City-based visual artist Jeff Sable leads a workshop exploring Tai Chi movement, voice and improvisation, from 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Sept. 27 and Oct. 4 at Chi Movement Arts Center, 1316 S. Ninth St.; (267) 687-3739.

LGBT Square Dance Open House Independence Squares shows the ropes to anyone who wants to learn, at 7 p.m. Sept. 27 at Lutheran Church of the Holy Communion, 2111 Sansom St.; (215) 567-3668.

BOOKS Paul Halpern The sci-fi author of “Collider: The Search for the World’s Smallest Particles” hosts a reading at 7:30 p.m. Sept. 25 at Robin’s Books and Moonstone Arts Center, 110a S. 13th St.; (215) 735-9600.

Anne Shade The author of “Deepest Desire” hosts a reading at 5:30 p.m. Sept. 26 at Giovanni’s Room, 345 S. 12th St.; (215) 923-2960.

Victoria Brownworth The author of “Day of the Dead” hosts a reading at 5:30 p.m. Sept. 27 at Giovanni’s Room, 345 S. 12th St.; (215) 923-2960.

Dorothea Grossman and Elaine Terranova The two poets host a reading at 7 p.m. Sept. 29 at Robin’s Books and Moonstone Arts Center, 110a S. 13th St.; (215) 735-9600.

Dr. Marie Savard The author of “Ask Dr. Marie: Straight Talk and Reassuring Answers to Your Most Private Questions” hosts a reading at 7 p.m. Sept. 30 at Robin’s Books and Moonstone Arts Center, 110a S. 13th St.; (215) 735-9600.

Banned Books Reading Celebrate and support intellectual freedom, 7:30 p.m. Sept. 30 at Central Library, 1901 Vine St.; (215) 686-5322.

ETC. OUT in Atlantic City Harrah’s Resort hosts a weekend of LGBT events including celebrity appearances by Lance Bass, Amanda Lepore, Lori Michaels, “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’s” Jai Rodriguez and select cast of “The L Word,” Sept. 25-27, 777 Harrah’s Blvd., Atlantic City, N.J.; (609) 441-5000; www.harrahs.com/getoutinac.

First Annual Gayborhood Games This event pits top local talent against one another for prizes in a number of categories with celebrity judges, 7 p.m.-midnight Sept. 26 at Voyeur (formerly Pure), 1221 St. James St.; (215) 833-4165.

Sinbad The comedian performs at 8 p.m. Sept. 26 at Keswick Theatre, 291 N. Keswick Ave., Glenside; (215) 572-7650.

The Scene The LGBTQ dance party gets comfortable in its new home, 9 p.m.-2 a.m. at Adobe Bar and Lounge, 1919 E. Passyunk Ave.; www.tlbtbproductions.com.

Christopher Titus The comedian performs Oct. 1-3 at Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St.; (215) 496-9001.