FRIDAY Queer Eye The fab five do straight makeovers. 8 p.m. on FineLiving Network.
Southland Michael Cudlitz stars as John Cooper, a gay butch cop in L.A. with a Latino lover. “The Shield” meets “Queer as Folk.” 8 p.m. on NBC.
Jeffrey and Cole Casserole Gay blogger Jeffrey Self goes bananas. 11 p.m. on Logo.
SATURDAY Elvis Costello with … Gay impresario Rufus Wainwright performs. Fantastic as ever. Love the skin-tight lederhosen. 9 p.m. on Sundance.
Dirty Sexy Money The pansexual antics close in the series finale. (What was ABC thinking canceling this fab show?) Where else on network (or cable) can you see a gay married Congressman proposition a Congressman with a tranny lover and hear the explanation that neither is gay? 10 p.m. on ABC.
SUNDAY Defying Gravity Eight astronauts are on a six-year journey to Venus in this sci-fi thriller with a lot of 10,000-mile high sex. Tonight, mysterious forces impact the crew. 9 p.m. on ABC.
There Goes the Neighborhood Series premiere. The creepy/intriguing premise of this reality show is that a cul-de-sac neighborhood is walled off with eight families inside competing, “Lord of the Flies”-style, for $250,000. “The ultimate social experiment” will make you fear the end times. 9 p.m. on CBS.
True Blood Sookie’s captivity takes an unexpected turn. In Bon Temps, Sam finds himself in deep trouble after making a gruesome discovery at Merlotte’s. Jason pays off his debt to the vampires. Maryann prepares a “Hunter’s souffle” with demonic consequences. 9 p.m. on HBO.
Hung It’s hard out there for a pimp … really. 10 p.m. on HBO.
MONDAY Gimme Sugar: Miami The LA Truck Stop gals hit Miami to hook lesbians up for love. 10 p.m. on Logo.
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List The diva talks trash — and then some — with her new BFF, Paris. 10 p.m. on Bravo.
Weeds Nancy tries to protect Shane and Silas. Celia connects with a new pot supplier. Dean and Doug team up to take down Celia’s new operation. 10 p.m. on Showtime.
Nurse Jackie Jackie tries an unusual ploy to get Coop off her back. 10:30 p.m. on Showtime.
TUESDAY Hell’s Kitchen Gordon Ramsay abuses gay and straight chefs with relish in the most tumultuous season yet. Gay Tony got the whisk last week, but there are a few queers left. 9 p.m. on Fox.
America’s Got Talent The best talent show on TV. 9 p.m. on NBC. Also airs Wednesday at 9 p.m.
WEDNESDAY The Philanthropist TV’s most political drama. Teddy goes to Haiti with his partner, Philip, to try and solve a severe food shortage. Philip, who was born in Haiti, locks horns with powerful island pol Jean Beauvais, who is also Philip’s estranged brother. 10 p.m. on NBC.
The Real World: Cancun Bronne is a nude model and boxer from Penn State who has issues with boundaries and likes to get naked. Derek is very pretty and openly gay. 10 p.m. on MTV.
THURSDAY Big Brother Gay contestant Kevin Campbell stirs everything up. 8 p.m. on CBS. (Other new episodes air Sunday at 8 p.m.)
Queer TV you can always see
Guiding Light Olivia’s older daughter, Ava, came to Springfield for her father’s funeral. Olivia told her about Natalia. Unlike Rafe with his mom, Ava was thrilled that her mother had found love. But will Ashley accept Doris’ lesbianism? Monday-Friday, 10 a.m. on CBS.
The Young & The Restless Phillip tries to talk to son Chance about being gay. Rafe tries to warn Heather about Adam, but doesn’t tell her that he and Adam are lovers too. Monday-Friday, 12:30 p.m. on CBS.
As the World Turns Luke and Noah make up after Luke takes the job with Damian. But Mason isn’t about to give up on Noah and his project. Monday-Friday, 2 p.m. on CBS.
One Life to Live Kyle and Oliver finally stop using Stacey as their sexual manqué and have their first kiss since their college fling. Officer Fish has been denying his feelings for bad-boy Kyle for so long. Now what? 2 p.m. on ABC.
The Rachel Maddow Show Monday-Friday, 9 p.m. on MSNBC.