Queer TV you can always see
All My Children Bianca (Eden Riegel) and Reese (Tamara Braun) are in the struggle of their lives as a couple — they just don’t know it yet. On New Year’s Eve, Bianca was rushing out the door to meet Reese, but when she opened the door a strange man was there. It was Simon, Reese’s former fiancé, looking for her. Urgently. At close to midnight on New Year’s Eve. Meanwhile, Reese was with Zach over at the casino, waiting for Bianca. Midnight came and went without Bianca showing up. Reese said she understood that Bianca might have gotten caught up with the baby and thus was unable to make it in time, but she complained to Zach that she really missed getting her New Year’s kiss. And that’s when Zach kissed her. Uh-oh. Monday-Friday, 1 p.m. on ABC.
As the World Turns Luke (Van Hansis) and Noah (Jake Silbermann) were trying to find their way back to each other, and New Year’s looked like the perfect night to finally have that first romantic sex after eons of waiting, as if they were in some Christian purity group. But then Maddie had a meltdown over Casey, and Noah tried to comfort her — which made Luke jealous and he began to drink. Meanwhile, Brian (Lawrence Lau) had a big fight with wife Lucinda about making love and decided to go out without her. (Never a good sign for newlyweds on New Year’s Eve.) He, too, got plastered and before anyone could stop the train wreck from happening, Luke took him out of the bar and kissed him— loooong and on the mouth in public in Old Town, just as Noah came back. Noah assumed it was the closeted Brian coming on to Luke again and punched his lights out. Who should show up then but Lucinda! Noah and Luke went back to the house, but there, in true soap fashion, Luke told Noah it was him who came on to Brian. Noah stormed off, terribly hurt. Then Luke found a letter Noah had left for him in which he told him that if Luke was reading this, they had just spent their first night together and he had never been so in love. How can you mend a broken heart? Monday-Friday, 2 p.m. on CBS.
Ellen We never tire of the dancing dyke diva of daytime. Today: Clint Eastwood and Ellen’s new dancing discovery, Eric Santonge. Be sure to check out Ellen’s commentary at ellen.warnerbros.com. Monday-Friday, 3 p.m. on NBC.
The Rachel Maddow Show Smart and savvy deconstruction from the only out lesbian to host a political talk show. Monday-Friday, 9 p.m. on MSNBC.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson Consistently queer-friendly commentary and nightly drag routines from the Scottish comedian. Monday-Friday, 12:35 a.m. on CBS.
FRIDAY Howie Do It Who doesn’t love Howie Mandel? In this new “Punked”-style series debuting tonight, Mandel makes people mad, cry and then, of course, laugh. Simple fun after a rough week. 8 p.m. on NBC.
Flashpoint The edgy Canadian police drama returns for a mid-season premiere with a heart-pounding episode. The SRU (Strategic Response Unit) is handling a routine VIP-protection shift when a bomb goes off. Realizing the bomb was a distraction tactic so that the VIP’s wife could be kidnapped, the SRU attempts to find her. Starring Enrico Colantoni, Hugh Dillon and soon-to-be lesbian heartthrob Amy Jo Johnson. 10 p.m. on CBS.
SATURDAY The Brave One Everybody’s favorite Hollywood superstar lesbian, Jodie Foster, stars as a victim-turned-vigilante in this violent shoot-’em-up. With Terrence Howard and Mary Steenburgen. 8 p.m. on Cinemax.
Moulin Rouge Underrated Aussie musical with Nicole Kidman, Ewan MacGregor and Jim Broadbent. Superb, with spectacular sets and fabulous music. 8 p.m. on E!
The Queen Helen Mirren’s Oscar-winning turn as Elizabeth II is breathtaking, from the opening scene to the end. 8 p.m. on Oxygen.
Game Show in My Head This reality show is executive-produced by “Punked” cutie-pie Ashton Kutcher and hosted by former “Fear Factor” host Joe Rogan. 8 p.m. on CBS.
Saturday Night Live Gay TV star Neil Patrick Harris (“How I Met Your Mother”) hosts, with Philadelphia teen singing sensation Taylor Swift. 11:30 p.m. on NBC.
SUNDAY Golden Globe Awards Starting with a red-carpet gossip fest, the show most consider a preview to the Oscars is hosted by the unlikely duo of Glenn Close and Jake Gyllenhaal. What do they have in common? Both played queer characters in award-winning films. (Does this mean Sean Penn will win for “Milk”?) 8 p.m. on NBC.
Million Dollar Password Regis Philbin hosts this updated, super-fun version of the old Alan Ludden game show. Incredibly addictive. Norm MacDonald and Jaime Kennedy are tonight’s celeb players. 8 p.m. on CBS.
Desperate Housewives The battle for the gay sons continues (talk about momma’s boys!). Bree’s devious plotting against Andrew’s future mother-in-law Melina (played with wonderful wit and vitriol by Joanna Cassidy) in an attempt to keep him close to her comes at a cost. (Best line from last week: Lee tells Susan after she begs him to take her to the gay club, “Better plaster on the makeup, drag queens get the first drink free.” Best moment: Lily Tomlin in biker gear.) 9 p.m. on ABC.
Tess of the d’Urbervilles The Masterpiece Theater version of the classic Thomas Hardy novel concludes tonight, in tragedy. With Gemma Atherton (the newest Bond girl) as Tess and Eddie Redmayne as the smitten Angel. Superb. 9 p.m. on PBS.
24 The new season debuts with award-winning lesbian actor Cherry Jones as the new president, Allison Taylor. With Kiefer Sutherland as the indomitable Jack Bauer. Hopefully this season will feature less torture. 9 p.m. on FOX.
Brothers & Sisters Last week found brothers Kevin and Tommy battling over Tommy’s daughter — to whom Kevin gave a lobe of his liver — as to whom she really belongs. (Kevin donated the sperm and is now — literally — dreaming of being her father.) This week Kitty goes public with her tell-all book on an appearance on “Live with Regis & Kelly,” but suspects that Robert is keeping a very big secret. Tommy allies with Saul, who now has a boyfriend to be concerned about, to push Holly out of the family business. 10 p.m. on ABC.
MONDAY The Big Bang Theory The revolt of the nerds continues on the funniest night on TV. When Penny’s comment about Wolowitz’s love life sends him into a depressed stupor, his friends lose their most important teammate in an upcoming fighting robot competition. 8 p.m. on CBS.
Superstars of Dance The international competition continues. 8 p.m. on NBC.
Bromance It was only a matter of time before TV got hip to the semi-sexual world of male bromance. Host Brody Jenner (“The Hills”) puts nine fine young dudes to the test of best buddy-dom. 9 p.m. on MTV.
Momma’s Boys Ryan Seacrest’s latest reality show is bad-accident-viewing addictive. Three good-looking guys search for the girl of their dreams — with the help of their stereotypically controlling mothers. The “girls” are dwindling as the viciousness from the mommas heats up. These guys would be so much happier gay. 10 p.m. on NBC.
True Beauty Produced by Tyra Banks and Ashton Kutcher, this reality series debuts with the premise that beauty is interior, not exterior. Hotties turn to notties quickly as nasty pretty boys and girls find out they are being judged not on their self-proclaimed “10” looks, but on who they are. 10 p.m. on ABC.
TUESDAY Scrubs The popular Emmy-winning hospital sitcom was dumped by NBC. ABC has picked it up for its final episodes, which began airing last week. 9 p.m. on ABC.
Nip/Tuck Everybody’s favorite slicers and dicers (after Dexter) are back. Lesbian heartthrob Sharon Gless tears up the place and the aftermath leaves Sean fighting for his life. 10 p.m. on FX.
WEDNESDAY 13: Fear is Real This new series debuts as a reality show with a scary twist as 13 contestants tackle awesomely horrific challenges. This ain’t just bug-eating in the tropics. 8 p.m. on the CW.
Damages There may be better performances by women on the tube, but it’s difficult to imagine anyone doing a better job than Glenn Close as demonic attorney Patty Hewes, Rose Byrne as the seemingly demure assistant and Marcia Gay Harden as — well, you’ll find out. 10 p.m. on FX.
The Real World: Brooklyn Long before other reality shows even recognized the existence of queers, “The Real World” had queer contestants. Now in its 21st season, the show goes back to New York — to Red Hook, Brooklyn, where the mobsters dump the bodies. This season includes Sarah, a tatted-up bisexual artist who works with victims of sexual abuse; Katelynn, a transgender female who wants to marry her boyfriend; and Chet, a Mormon frat boy. 10 p.m. on MTV.
Top Chef: New York San Francisco lesbian Jamie with the many tats and obsessive love of scallops is on the chopping block. 10 p.m. on Bravo.
Sordid Lives: The Series Bitsy and the bar gang decide to storm the church to confront the jury that wrongly convicted her. Brother Boy negotiates with Dr. Eve to continue therapy if he can perform as Tammy. Ty is trying to be honest with everyone, but Sara will not accept that he is gay. 10:30 p.m. on Logo.
THURSDAY Ugly Betty After a family crisis, Betty is torn between work and home, putting her at odds with Hilda. Meanwhile, Daniel, Molly, Connor and Wilhelmina try to conceal their escalating love connections and, boy, are they ever connected. 8 p.m. on ABC.
Grey’s Anatomy Callie (Sara Ramirez) and Sadie (Melissa George). The best new lesbian couple on the tube. 9 p.m. on ABC.
30 Rock Liz and Jenna’s friendship is put to the test when Liz admits that she dislikes Jenna’s new independent film. To get himself out of debt, Tracy places his name on a “meat machine” that eliminates the “bread” part of sandwiches. With the phenomenal Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin. 9:30 p.m. on NBC.
ER The show is in its final stages — season — and bringing in the big guns for the final send-off. 10 p.m. on NBC.